I was talking to a client recently about his family situation.
He told me that, over time, he and his partner had slowly started living on parallel tracks. Not because of one dramatic event. Or because anyone stopped caring.
Just… little decisions, repeated over the years. More travel for work. More pressure. More compromises that were meant to be temporary.
And slowly, their tracks drifted further apart. Different cities. Different routines. Different realities.
At one point, they were barely home together during the week. Sometimes not even on weekends. And when they were home together, everyone felt a bit like guests in each other’s lives.
What struck me most was this question one of their children asked him: “What are your priorities, Dad?”
Quite a question.
Because most people don’t intentionally choose distance from the people they love. They just stop checking whether the life they are living still matches what matters most to them.
And I think many public sector leaders DRFIT into exactly this kind of misalignment – not only in family life, but in their relationship with themselves.
So today, I want to talk about priorities. And about whether your job is serving your life… or consuming it.
When Public Sector Leaders Realise Their Life Has Drifted Off Course
Public sector leaders, on the whole, are often deeply committed people.
You care. You take your responsibilities seriously. You want to contribute. You hold things together when systems are under pressure.
And because you’re capable, more gets handed to you. More responsibility. More complexity. More expectations. At first, it can feel meaningful. Flattering. Energising even.
But if you never pause to check in with yourself, work can slowly become the organising principle of your entire life. Not necessarily because you consciously chose that. But because work is demanding, urgent, and measurable.
And the rest?
Relationships, health, presence, creativity, rest, connection? Those things don’t usually scream for your attention… until something starts breaking down.
There’s a real risk of running yourself into burnout. There’s a lot more awareness about this these days. I actually think there’s a strong indicator before burnout hits: A sense of disconnection.
Disconnection from: your family, your partner, your own needs, your values, the version of yourself you thought you’d become.
One day you wake up and realise:
“I worked hard on building a successful career …
but is this really how I want to live my life?”
That can be confronting. But it’s also important information.
So here’s a question I’d invite you to sit with: Are your actions aligned with your priorities?
Not your stated priorities. Your actual ones.
Because your calendar tells the truth very quickly.
– How do you spend your time?
– Who gets your energy?
– What always gets postponed?
– What do you say yes to automatically?
That’s where your real priorities show up.
And look, this is not about guilt or judgement. Life is complicated. Careers are demanding. Families and careers go through seasons. Sometimes survival mode is real.
But there’s a difference between: “I’m consciously making this trade-off for now” and “I’ve been sleepwalking through decisions for years.”
Public Sector Leaders Often Lose Themselves Gradually
I see this often with leaders considering career change. They don’t necessarily hate their work. But they realise the cost of continuing exactly as they are has become too high.
The cost to their relationships. Their health. Their energy. Their sense of meaning.
And often, underneath the career question is a deeper one:
“What kind of a life do I actually want now?”
That’s why I encourage my clients to make space before rushing into job applications or escape plans.
Because if you don’t clarify what matters most first, you risk recreating the same life in a different organisation.
Now, just to be clear: This is not about a perfectly balanced life. I don’t that exists. There will be seasons when work needs more from you. Seasons when family does. Seasons when you’re stretched thin.
The point is not perfection. It’s awareness. Checking in. Course-correcting. Being intentional instead of automatic.
Because it is never too late to reconnect with your values, with your loved ones, and with yourself.
And sometimes the smallest shifts matter most:
– protecting one evening a week
– being fully present when you’re home
– having the difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding
– admitting that something about your current career and life setup no longer fits
That honesty can become the beginning of change.
So let me leave you with this:
- If someone looked at how you spend your time right now, what would they say your priorities are?
- And does that match the life you actually want to build?
You owe yourself the chance to pause. And to ask whether the direction you’re heading in is still taking you where you want to go.
Until next time: make space, rediscover YOU, and then take action.